What if Operating Systems Ran Your Car?

MS-DOS

You get in the car and try to remember where you put your keys.

Windows

You get in the car and drive to the store very slowly, because attached to the back of the car is a freight train.

System 7

You get in the car to go to the store, and the car drives you to church.

Unix

You get in the car and type "grep store." After reaching speeds of 200 miles per hour, you arrive at the barber shop.

Windows NT

You get in the car and write a letter that says, "Go to the store." Then you get out and mail the letter to your dashboard.

Taligent

You walk to the store with Ricardo Montalban, who tells you how wonderful it will be when he can fly to the store in his Lear jet.

OS/2

After fueling up with 6,000 of gas, you get in the car and drive to the store with a motorcycle escort and a marching band in procession. Halfway there, the car blows up, killing everyone in town.

MVS/VM

You get in the car and drive to the store. Halfway there, you run out of gas. While walking the rest of the way, you are run over by kids on mopeds.

OS/400

An attendant locks you into the car and then drives you to the store, where you watch everybody else buy filet mignons.

NetWare SFT III 3.11

You put a foot into each car and drive to the store. Halfway there, the two-lane highway divides, ripping you in half. Each car then proceeds to the store without you.


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