EDP Position Descriptions

Data Processing Manager

Leaps tall buildings in a single bound,
is more powerful than a locomotive,
is faster than a speeding bullet,
walks on water,
gives policy to God.

Ass't. Data Processing Manager

Leaps short buildings in a single bound,
is more powerful than a switch engine,
is just as fast as a speeding bullet,
walks on water if the sea is calm,
talks to God.

Senior Systems Analyst

Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds,
is almost as powerful as a switch engine,
is faster than a speeding BB,
walks on water in an indoor swimming pool,
talks with God if special request is approved.

Systems Analyst

Barely clears a quonset hut,
loses tug of war with a locomotive,
can fire a speeding bullet,
swims well,
is occasionally addressed by God.

Lead Programmer

Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings,
is run over by locomotives,
can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury,
dog paddles,
talks to animals.

Senior Programmer

Runs into buildings,
recognizes locomotives two out of three times,
is not issued ammunition,
can stay afloat with a life jacket,
talks to walls.

Maintenance programmer

Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings,
says "Look at the Choo Choo",
wets himself with a water pistol,
mumbles to himself.

Programmer

Lifts buildings and walks under them,
kicks locomotives off the tracks,
catches speeding bullets in his teeth and eats them,
freezes water with a single glance,
he is GOD.

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